The perils of ageing:

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit

Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my

car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from

the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage

anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk

where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I

don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the

counter catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been

searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly

spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I

won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den

where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed; the bills aren't paid; there is a warm can

of Coke sitting on the counter; the flowers don't have enough water; there is still only

one cheque in my cheque book; I can't find the remote; I can't find my glasses, and I

don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because

I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.